Wednesday, December 21, 2011

7 Worst Holiday Gifts

Every year, the holidays come along faster and faster (pretty sure I saw Christmas-themed items up already in October this year), and with that you would think that people plan ahead to come up with thoughtful gifts.

Unfortunately, not so much.

You can do a search and find literally hundreds of articles and blog posts about horrible presents - with everything from moldy fruit (I've sadly experienced that one) to maxi pads (can we say offensive?).

I thought I'd add my personal thoughts to the mix - and since I prefer doing lists of 7 (don't ask me why, it's not even a nice round number lol), here are what I would consider to be the 7 Worst Things to Give on a Holiday:

7) Fruit Cake. It's been a joke for years, but obviously there's something to it if it's still considered to be funny. I have never been a fan of it, even back before I was diagnosed with a gluten allergy - but now thankfully I can use that as an excuse not to eat it!

6) Donating to a charity in their honor. I'm not anti-charity - in fact, I highly recommended being a regular donor if you can - but don't donate in someone else's name unless you are 100% sure that they even agree with the charity you chose. For example, I'd be ok if you donated to the local Humane Society, but I'd be miserable to find out that you donated to the Phelps church down in KS (arguably the most hateful and crazy batch of so-called "Christians" I've ever heard of!)!!

5) The flu, the cold, or some other virus. I think that's actually why the rate of being sick is so high this time of year - people decide to visit with relatives even though it's obvious that they are not only sick but still contagious! If you don't feel well, don't hob nob with your relatives. Seriously. One year my husband and I both ended up catching the flu from relatives, and it was possibly the worst December/January of our lives!

4) Something that's obviously for you. For example, if you like to golf and you buy your friend who hates golf a set of golf clubs, in the hope that she will give them back to you later. That's just sad and lame! If you don't know what someone likes, don't just buy something that you would like and assume that it would be something they liked, too. That's what gift cards are for!

3) Personal clothing. Lingerie, undies, and other hidden clothes need to stay hidden and not be unpacked in front of family and friends.

2) A gift list that is unreasonable. Don't put things on there that obviously can't be filled, or that might put someone in an uncomfortable position. You want world peace? That's awesome, but it's obviously not something I can buy for you, so put something else down. Want a car? Buy it yourself, because you know I don't have that kind of money. Want cousins for your kid? Get them from the other side of the family, because my decision not to have children is personal and not something likely to be changed by your disguised attempt to belittle me (yeah, ok, this last one is a little personal...).

...and finally, my number one worst thing that you could give someone for the holidays:

1) An STD. Laugh now, but if you end up with sores in places that you desperately don't want to, or have itches that you can't scratch, you'll rethink the whole idea of unprotected sex! Don't cheat on your spouse, or if you're single and sleeping around, use protection. Pretty sure being given an STD would have to be the worst "gift" of all time!!

Remember, this is just my personal list - there are plenty of other gifts out there that might be horrible! Want more worst gifts? Check out Why Did You Buy Me That? and Really Bad Gift .

What's the worst gift you've ever received?


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